As if the unholy spawning from Kim Kardashian and Kanye West wasn’t enough of a prank for 2013. Now we have rumors that Katy Perry‘s kitty and John Mayer‘s douche nozzle are conspiring to give us a baby douche.
According to MORE magazine (via UPI), Katy Perry could be John’s “The One,” and not just “The One For Now”:
“John really likes the fact that Katy is so independent and not needy and clingy like the other girls he’s dated.This is the first time John’s felt so strongly about a girl. She’s played her cards perfectly,” the source told More magazine. ”They really do bring out the best in each other. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he proposed.”
The insider added,
“John has given her the confidence to jump out of the rat race. With John, she feels like herself. She wants to nest. She’s gained a few pounds, is taking a much-needed break from work and perhaps is even getting her mind and body ready for pregnancy,” the source said.
Thankfully, this all sounds like a bunch of hogwash speculation at this point, and let’s hope it stays that way. Though it’s obvious Katy likes ‘bad boys’ and her taste tends to veer toward the vinegary Summer Breeze side, can anyone really see this working out in the long run? (HELL NO should’ve been the only words that ran through your mind for that question.) About the only thing John’s given Katy that will require a test in three months is the herpes simplex.