Ah, New Year’s Eve – I am still recovering from you. Yet again, I found myself ushering another new year by punishing my liquor with too much vodka and my stomach with too many unidentifiable fried finger foods (they were delicious and I needed something to absorb all the booze).
Not that you’re interested, but here’s a quick ‘by the numbers’ of my New Year’s Eve festivities:
80′s songs played: 35
Arguments gotten into with family: 3 (that night alone)
Firework ‘incidents’: 1, but we can’t go into details
“Shit, the cops are going to get called!!” scares: 1 (see above)
Sausage & cheese puffs eaten: countless
Vodka drinks: countless
Advil taken with coffee the next morning: 4
Anyhoo, since by this point we all are horrified by the world’s worst Christmas gift (as presented by Kimye), we could all use a little brain bleach and a happy thought or two to collectively talk us down from the ledge and stop wishing the Mayans would’ve been right. And once again, on New Year’s Eve, Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper sweetly reminded us the world can still bring us a little joy, no matter how fleeting.
So grab your closest pet, a glass of wine and be entertained by the oh-so-perfect Kathy Griffin attempting to live the dream on national TV by giving Anderson Cooper a blow job and making him giggle (Fact: Anderson Cooper’s laughter is like a bell, and when he breaks into a fit of giggles, an angel is getting his wings). The best part is watching how Anderson literally keeps having to cock block Kathy on live TV.
Ryan Seacrest who?