Katy Perry and John Mayer Getting Serious?

Reports had the “match made in Valtrex heaven” AKA Katy Perry and John Mayer splitting up just a couple of weeks ago, but those reports were wrong.  It appears not only is Katy still bumping douche nozzles with John Mayer, but <cue the dramatic music> she’s given him the key to her  house.

According to UK rag The Sun, Katy’s family is begging her to slow things down with Johm (smart family), but she isn’t having any of it, because her body is his wonderland (…and I just grossed myself out.)

But as their relationship continues to get more and more serious, Katy thinks she is doing the right thing.

A source said: “John thinks it is easier to stay in hotels rather than his own LA pad. But Katy insists he should stay with her. She thinks it makes sense.”

I take the next part with a grain of salt, because the alternative is just too WTF?! to actually believe.  Sources say the pair was recently Las Vegas and were joking about getting hitched by an Elvis impersonator in a little chapel, however before they could live out that scenario, alcohol stepped in and saved the day.  The two became too inebriated to follow through with it.  Usually, it’s the other way around…

I actually completely think Katy would be stupid enough to do something like that – I mean, she is dating John Mayer, after all. It’s obvious that taste and standards mean nothing to her.  However, commitment to him is like my stomach after a football weekend of drinking and being fed nachos, wings and other questionable processed items.  Sure, it was a hell of a fun ride, and I enjoyed every minute of it, but come Monday morning, all that food and vodka wants to do is get the hell out of dodge.

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