Jon Gosselin is Broke

Ah, so we now officially know that schadenfreude smells douche vinegar, Axe Body Spray and Ed Hardy, because that’s what Jon Gosselin is serving us up with today.

Ol’ Jonny was livin’ the high life – the star of TLC’s most popular show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Christian Audigier’s BFF, and tabloid fool darling, now Jon can’t figure out how to make ends meet.

“I can’t afford to pay my rent and the domestic-relations staff tell me they will put me in jail unless I pay child support,” Jon, 35, told Star. “I am a single father who’s trying to make ends meet during a recession. What do I do — pay child support or rent? I need to support my kids, but I could lose my house, and I need my home to continue to have custody.

“I decided to take the high road and quit reality television and now look, I’m going to end up in jail because I can’t afford to pay child support to Kate who has plenty of money,” the former TLC star complained.

“I’m doing the best I can, but life is so expensive with eight kids!”

Oh, boo hoo. Let me cry you a river, Jon.  The little violins in our black hearts are playing their sad song right now.  After all, who would’ve thought 8 freaking kids would be expensive!  This is brand new information! 

And maybe your ass wouldn’t be broke as a joke if you hadn’t partied it up with  your  your fame starved gold digger girlfriends *coughKateMajorcoug* and paid for those overpriced ugly Ed Hardy tees (before ROSS started selling them for $9.99).

I guess since tipping off the paparazzi to your whereabouts just isn’t paying the way it used to, since no gives a shit about you any more.

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