Twitards everywhere are donning all black attire this morning as they mourn the loss of their beloved RobStew. That’s because Kristen Stewart has been caught cheating on Rob Pattinson with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders.
US Weekly showed everyone the receipts last night with photographic evidence of Kristen and Rupert being a lot more cozy than two people with significant others should be (read: Rupert is either licking KStew’s chi chi’s or heading down south on her in a car.) Even PEOPLE, the Holy Grail of celebrity gossip, is even reporting the news!
That’s right. And we all know if PEOPLE runs it, the shit is fact, because it’s coming directly from the celeb’s rep, someone really close to the situation, or the celeb themselves.
Side note: first, we got the TomKat divorce announcement and Adele preggers (on the same day), then we get the Jackson Family craziness and now this? Oh my, it’s literally Christmas in July.
PEOPLE says Kristen and Rupert, 41, did indeed hook-up, but it was a one time only “mistake,” and not an affair that’s been going on for a while *coughbullshitcough*.
“Kristen is absolutely devastated,” says one source. “It was a mistake and a complete lapse in judgment.”
The hookup with Stewart’s Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders occurred recently, the source says.
“She wasn’t having an affair with Rupert. It was just a fleeting moment that shouldn’t have happened,” says the source. “She never meant to hurt anyone. She’s a good person who just made a bad choice.”
A rep for Sanders, who is married and has two children, could not be reached for comment.
However, speculation is that this an attempt by Kristen’s PR team to spin a negative story into a more positive light for the actress and try and capture a bit of sympathy for a woman who slept with a married man who has two children at home (7 and 5). The rush was on since US Weekly – who was set to break the story – had their damning cover set to be published last night at midnight.
Here’s what I would like to see from all this: A knock-down, drag-out, hair-pulling, face-scratching, Alexis/Krystle worthy, honest-to-goodness catfight between Kristen and Ruperts wife, Liberty Ross (she played Kristen’s mom in Snow White and the Huntsman, FYI). I feel like we are owed a scandal that lives up to it’s name. I mean, the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce started out with a bang, but really, it went out like a silent fart in the wind. Sure, it strongly stunk like shit for a minute or so, but in the end, you wondered if the stench was really that bad at all.
This scandal, on the other hand, has so much potential! And from so many angles! The meltdown of the Twi-tards. Soccer moms everywhere turning to Christian Grey to ease their pain (hey, guess which two Twatlight stars probably won’t star in 50 Shades of Shit together!) The fact that Rob and Kristen still have to do a nice, long round of press for Twalight: Breaking Hymen Part 2. Cuckolded wife Liberty, whom I want to spill all the tea on Kristen on Rupert’s affair.
So here’s my personal entreaty to Kristen, Rupert, Rob and Liberty (as well as the Twi-tards): please don’t let me down, guys. This should be, by all accounts, a complete clusterfuck of the highest order. The fall, which was looking quite boring, and the only trainwrecks to watch would be the usual suspects of LiLo and Kim Kartrashian, just got a little bit brighter.