I guess we’re all pretending the Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi didn’t leak these photos herself, so let me put on my shocked! and surprised! face.
Now that I’m appropriately clutching my pearls (somehow Jersey Slore stars and pearl necklaces are things that just go together ifyouknowhatImeanandIthinkyoudo), let’s discuss these photos of Snooki that have surfaced online for our trainwreck viewing pleasure. If you’ve always wondered what a real-life Oompa Loompa with a lifetime subscription of Valtrex would look like naked (and I’m assuming you haven’t), these pictures will be right up your alley.
The Daily Fail via Egotastic gave us this Saturday morning blessing, describing the photos as a woman appearing to be Snooki. (A scratch and sniff test of the photos reveal the scent of spray tan, vodka mixers and semen, so I’m agreeing with them.) Let’s be honest, since pretty much everyone living in Jersey has already scene Snooki’s Hoo-Ha, these aren’t even scandalous. Also, celeb nude leaks are so 2011.
I give this a mere 2-of-10 on the Celebrity Nudes Scandal Scale, with points off for being late, lacking style, and nothing we haven’t already seen before. Very boring.